HEADLESS CHOOKS

Our neighbours took in boarders
built a white weatherboard extension
tantalising on stretched summer days
before spray cans were invented.

My brothers, hot with rivalry and wild
as the fruit trees littering our yard
shied ripe tomatoes, pears
and fat snails at that wall.

Juices mingled, dribbled down, baked
into lurid patterns, a new spin on modern art.
The old man and his pole-thin wife
hair tangled like barbed wire
had no artistic inclinations

kept chooks
which, when beheaded now and then
kept running for minutes after.

Jennifer Chrystie

 

REBOUND MAN

Needier than a World Vision orphan!
More desperate than a Search for a Supermodel finalist!
More baggage than an airport carousel!
More damage than a panel-beater’s yard!
More issues than a year’s worth of 4 Corners episodes!

Able to jump from the first date, to offering to move cities for you, in a single week!

Yes, it’s REBOUND MAN!

With his amazing powers of instant intimacy and paralysing waves of guilt, he’s the super-hero without a cause – hey, maybe it could be you!

He’ll cook you dinner, he’ll look after you when you’re sick, he’ll pay for everything, and all just because he’s such a really, really nice guy. (I mean, you’d have to be completely heartless to turn him down after all that, wouldn’t you? But hey, no pressure or anything!)

No task is too much trouble for Rebound Man. Need help moving house? No problem! He’ll be there in his rebound-mobile ready to perform feats of astonishing strength. And if he puts his back out and spends the next week immobilised in excruciating pain, well, that just proves he’s even more worthy of you, doesn’t it?

You’ll meet him when you least expect it, maybe while moonlighting as his amazing alter ego, REBOUND WOMAN - able to transform yourself from a capable adult to a sobbing, babbling mess after a single bottle of wine! But Rebound Man knows that he’s the answer to your problems. He’s not like all those other guys. Just give him a chance! ....please?

You’ll be unable to tear yourself away as he recounts scene-by-scene the story of his previous relationship. After all, no super-hero is complete without his arch-nemesis. She’s cold, she’s complex, she’s Psycho-Ex! Not that he bears any grudges, he’s too noble for that, but just look what she’s done to him!

But that’s okay, cause he’s got you now, hasn’t he?
Only YOU can heal his pain.
Cause you’re not like that crazy bitch, are you?
You’ll never sulk, or throw tantrums, or lie, or cheat,
and you’ll never, ever leave....right?

Can you rescue him from himself?
Can you save yourself from him?

Tune in for next week’s four-hour long-distance phone call from REBOUND MAN! (action figures sold separately)

parable

A few lives
before reaching enlightenment
Buddha was Prince Fiveweapons
pumped with hot chilli bully juice

he growled at danger,
pulled monsters’ tails
and carried a lightning bolt within his heart.

In later eons

he mellowed right out
becoming, in fact,

quite famous for it.

In other words, you don’t have to do everything at once.

Monique Choy

 

EXPLORATION

Shingleback lizard on red sand
armoured, immobile.

Like the rest of men’s time here
being human I dislodged
a half buried green glass shard.
Felt an urge (for a moment)
to test the soft mechanics of a life…
the imperative of prod.

Then to understand
temples where exploring gods all played in guts
teased the last fibrillation
of an exposed heart
just to be there
close to the core.

Remember the sacrament of cats
as they extract a bird’s life like a thorn
or 10 year old sociologists –
A Study on the Application of Fire to Ant Social Hierarchies.

But there is wisdom in restraint —
I later find out that the lizard’s bony jaw
hooks on to retaliate,
won’t let go.

Many a child has been raced to hospital
bearing the burden
of unnecessary knowledge.


Les Wicks

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Financial Blues

And in financial blues today
shares in my life plummeted twenty-two cents,
due to record low interest.

My self esteem dropped two points against the Dow Jones,
whilst my libido rose steadily against the Nikkei.

A vote of ‘no confidence’ on behalf of the bored
resulted in a poor forecast for the cumming quarter.
Analysts say that this is due to the fact that
my life did not perform as well as expected in the previous quarter,
a result made worse by the overstating of my Ego, which, when finally floated,
turned out to be worth only a fraction of its stated value.

Meanwhile, Investors in Catholic Guilt pulled out at the last moment.
Heart Brokers reported increased activity in their sector
due in part to the success of the ‘Cold Fusion’ technique
pioneered by a pretty little twenty-four year old
who has since left my firm...

The resulting brokered heart was somewhat temporarily lifted
by a large injection of liquid assets
giving it the shot in the arm that I so badly need.
Unfortunately my brokered heart returned to its original low in mourning trading.

Also, Pride lost sense, falling steadily
and was found floating bloated and unconscious
in a pool of it’s own investment potential.

Privatised parts performed badly
after the injection of liquid assets proved too large,
this looked to result in the loss of a new foreign interest,
however, a spokesperson for this new foreign interest
said this sort of thing happened all the time
and she was confident that with the sight of her stripping down to her assets
prospects would rise, and said parts would once more perform solidly.

Meanwhile, analysts have warned of the Govemment’s plan
to sell off the remainder of my soul.
A spokesperson for the PM’s office said “Please stop calling,”
but when pressed, continued “how did you get this number anyway?”

My subconscious has been subcontracted
and my penis is in the hands of receivers.

One steady performer throughout the quarter was my ‘Attitude Problem’
a true blue-chip-on-my-shoulder stock which has regularly out-performed
most other aspects of my personality.

While as far as my Sanity is concemed The figures are still out
but if the Personal Hygiene Index is anything to go by
prospects aren’t good.

Lungs, liver, bowel, and kidneys were all depreciating steadily in value,
but were expected to survive at least till the end of today’s trading.

Leaves grew five points on trees,
and whilst the Sun rose in early trading,
it fell later, followed by a take-over by The Moon.

I’ve got thirty three years of Daylight Savings
and it won’t even buy me a drink.

And speaking of time, it just lost another four & a half minutes
so goodnight.

Benito Di Fonzo